Feeling reduced and Marginalized

Feeling reduced and Marginalized

Sitting by the lake on a sunny afternoon awaiting a phone conference I realized that as I waited and waited with no conference start, I was beginning to feel reduced and marginalized. Taking time out of my vacation to join this call seemed of little importance to other group members as they did not arrive at their site on time and when they finally clicked onto the call (16 minutes late, not that I was counting), no one seemed concerned that I had been kept in the lurch wondering if I had not received a cancellation email. Thinking about this reduced/marginalized situation I suddenly realized that my feelings are completely within my own strength. It is my choice as to how I react to the behavior of others, deciding whether to be happy or mad, disinctive or judgmental. The moment that I determined that lateness was a problem, it was really only a problem for me. The other members are not already aware that I have a life beyond phone conversations and because I am retired, they also think that I have all the free time in the world and absolutely no other obligations.

Being reduced and marginalized translates into feeling left out and un- or underappreciated. This in turn method that I have put all of the focus and attention on my needs and me without considering the needs of anyone or everyone else. That is selfish and self-centered especially because while I may fume and moan, I never take action to cure or change the situation. I just let it happen. I do not believe that most people are deliberately rude or disengaged, but that they are all busy with their own lives, jobs, families, and selves. Yes, some people are average and thrilled with the thought of hurting and maligning those who surround them, but these folks are not within my course of action of friends and colleagues. I leave those sorts behind in the dust without being drawn into their vicious course of action. I know that if I am in control of myself, I have the ability to speak up with my opinions and ideas. And therein lies my solution.

From now on whenever I begin to have that sneaking feeling of diminishment and marginalization, I am going to take immediate action to combat the overpowering, overwhelming tact it can take. I am a strong, thinking, and capable individual and anyone who tries to take this away is attacking my individualism and self-efficacy. They work to ruin my resolve as they deplete my inner excursion and determination. And whose fault is that? No one but my own as I have a choice to stand up and let my voice resound or to sit silently and absorb the naysayers and their assaults of criticism. In fact, the more I think about being reduced and marginalized, the more I realize that I have invited that behavior by my personal weaknesses and discontent with myself. Yikes! This is horrible to contemplate and to stop it I solemnly resolve to stand firm as needed and to be accepting when it really does not matter. I feel better already.

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